RCS – Business Default

To be present with people, love them and belong to them, but for this we do not sacrifice what we actually are, feel and think.

We are not alone in experiencing loneliness, and if we all dared to look honestly in the eyes, offer our hearts in the palm of our hands and compassionately acknowledge our authentic needs, fears and longings, truly hear each other and not just listen, then the word loneliness would lose its meaning.

We learn this way from a very early age. When a child in his genuine feelings is rejected, fought with, punished or even ridiculed, he will quickly learn that if he wants to please and belong, he must bury his true feelings, suppress his soul, and lock his heart. Belonging early in life is of existential importance for a child. At that time, the child is completely dependent on his closest guardians, and if he does not belong and does not fit in, then his survival is actually at risk. And such little girls will grow into women who will look for confirmations everywhere, adapt to all difficulties in order to be accepted, good enough and worthy. And such boys will become men who will swallow every tear, every seed of shame and worthlessness, because it is not appropriate, because it is not right. And all these grown-ups will walk around the world wearing masks of learned norms, looking for ways to finally find the honest and authentic contact they were deprived of in their youth. And despite all the efforts and attempts, they will always find themselves on the same stage of loneliness. When you seek honest contact with an insincere attitude towards your deepest needs, then you are disappointed, alone and tired. Maintaining an image that is pleasing to others exhausts a person, and although he is taught that he will belong only if he overcomes his needs and adapts, such association does not bring him peace, a feeling of being loved and understood, but he continues to be alone.

Loneliness is not defined as the absence of the presence of another. We can be really alone and feel lonely, but many times it happens that we are surrounded by a large number of people and yet we feel lonely. The opposite of loneliness is not the company of a fellow human being, but the feeling of being loved, understood and belonging, which is an irreplaceable need of every human being. We are biologically, physically, cognitively and spiritually created to love, be loved and belong. The feeling of true belonging is not a passive act, and it is not enough just to have someone by your side. For a sense of true belonging, it is not enough to play superficial, adapt and pretend because it is safer. It is not about carrying our heart in the palm of our hand and there is no one to help us hold it. Loneliness is when we walk in the world with empty hands, with our heart safely hidden in the depths, and at all costs we search for what others need, what we should hold in the palm of our hands so that it will be suitable and accepted.to all norms for happiness and satisfaction, a large proportion of individuals who have reached and exceeded all these norms are unbearably unhappy and lonely. In the face of general dissatisfaction and distress, the increasing percentage of the population with mental disorders such as depression and anxiety, and the global feeling of disconnection and individuality, the topic of loneliness is still a kind of taboo, and it is high time that we give space to this topic, bring it to the fore from the depths of our interior and we see that on one level or another it affects each and every one of us.