RCS – Business Default

I have different perceptions, not only voices, but also visions and

 “felt states”, I don’t know what to call it – for now

 so.

 I think that a man is somehow knotted, that he has knots. S

 I was able to solve them by talking and working on myself. They say so

 tutti i nodi vengono al pettine (a rough literal translation would be

 all the knots come on the comb). I would like to comb my hair. But I think so

 I have dreadlocks. I have a lot of work to do and I’ve had enough of stagnation.

 My naivety and waiting for better times got over me. Nothing

 I’m not doing anything concrete. I am waiting and waiting for it to get better, but time

 passes, the condition does not change or worsens. Often

 I’m putting things off until I’m better… But what comes next after a dozen

 years of established practice? Increased doses of medication. That’s us

 offers a psychiatrist, who I cling to like a plot drunk. Enchanted

 circle. Yes, the additional need to increase medication, but yes

 my stomach is no longer digesting. I’ve had enough of this. There is no solution. It is

 just making a living. These tap on a quasi-relatively functional,

 there is something unacceptable, even for the surrounding area. Oh, you’re a god.

 I see others “on legal pills”. Resignation? But I am

 same? Perhaps unlike some, I don’t give up. It’s a force

 in me, a force of life that simply, despite this biting of the tail,

 (occasionally) sees a kind of roundabout with exit options. From

 fear, fear of failure, and I’m still spinning in place.

 Let’s move on to such and other perceptions… My first voice

 it appeared when I stopped taking the pills. I’ve been

 in dire straits, with fire in the roof. So in the apartment where I am

 lived, I had an unbearable relationship for me (probably also for him) with

 roommate with whom I became emotionally involved. That’s what you are

 i want to process with one di fi ducia therapist – trustworthy.

 I’ve only ever had drug-based therapy, no psychological therapy

 the treatment I need for my existence. In short, a voice when I’m not

 was on pills. He was feminine, insanely loud and commanding,

 he even told me when to breathe. I was completely pissed off.

 At that time, I also had a feeling of ice in my body

 area of ​​the heart. I had the same visions, but different ones

 white stains on the mirror and on the wall supports from the door opening

 my room. I was in the kitchen when I heard a sputtering voice

 from above. It was the voice of a friend from high school who

 she used to say that “this table is sacred”. I know that roommate charms,

 because he mentioned to me in passing that he might teach me while we still met

 relatively understood, but at that time I had not connected it yet.

 I am now allowing for the possibility that he may be using the table for

 manifesting “his magics” in life.

I have already heard many voices. For example once at my home

 a gruff voice commanded the parents in Italian. Another time we

 a voice said somewhere from above, outside of me, that “they will

 see … hide …”, at that time I was in the yard with my parents and

 looked at the starry sky. Sometimes I also heard a child’s voice that

 it still occurs to me sometimes. Maybe it has something to do with sex

 childhood abuse – one of the traumas experienced. When I hear too

 repetitive phrases of certain people I know. For example voice

 my former roommate, who rarely ever asked me in my life:

 “How are you?” I hear such voices in certain stressful situations.

 I also have more physical experiences. I remember being a honey

 experienced by wearing a shirt that a friend gave me

 a feeling of being chained, a translucent black chain around the heart, and so on

 maybe somewhere else. I felt the same way when I ate the first spoonful

 aunt’s vegetable pots, I could feel the transparent black chain

 in the area of ​​the throat, heart and plexus. Sometimes I also call it “black.”

 grease”. If I stay with perceptions other than voices—

 sometimes I can smell smells or know in advance what someone is going to say.

 Once I perceived the “evil eye” of an old woman – metallic translucent

 a gray beam of color came from her eyes as we looked at each other.

 I often see translucent black masses on people. Interesting

 I thought I saw this black mass on a man

 area of ​​the throat, and this person actually sometimes stutters or stutters

 it’s stuck. Perhaps this mass manifests itself to him in

 life… I have seen such a mass around many people

 parts of the head – because they are also users of psychiatry, se

 I wonder if I might see a connection between this mass and

 the fact that they have “mental” problems? When I see like this

 mass, I would prefer to try to remove it by hand, because if

 it manifests and is therefore visible, it is real and this may be true

 you remove it with your hand. I think it’s best to drop it on the grass below

 ankles, so some say. Supposedly, this mass can also be

 sticky to stick to your hand. There are guidelines for dealing with it

 … in my opinion, these masses have nothing to do on a person.

 I would like to help others, but I don’t know myself yet.

 This is how I first stringed together a few perceptions about a year ago,

 but I wanted to process them a bit more systematically,

 into one meaningful whole. When I wrote this text, it was for me

 it’s the first time I’ve written about something like that that had good effects

 on me. When I wanted to talk about my perceptions with

 psychiatrists, I encountered not only deaf ears, but also

 additional recipes. Otherwise, I was taking Seroquel (among other things),

 which lowered the intensity of the voices – but at the same time took away from me

 (night) dreams and offered me an alternative to vegetating instead

 life. This was too much for me – I preferred to live with voices than

 without dreams. Otherwise: in what other culture people with such

 experience, they receive the support of the entire community, and in the West

 they treat you like a fool.

 Not long after I wrote the text above, we met

 friends and made a long conversation about my experiences

 votes and the like. In doing so, I got some ideas about

 how could she explain her experiences. I especially did them

 started to associate with unpleasant things that I experienced in

 life. After the conversation, I also realized that I was in that time

 heard many other voices (besides the loudest one), but I did

 ignored and therefore almost forgot that they exist. That’s why I made them

 decided to listen better, stop ignoring and try to get away from them

 something to learn. But in general, I realized that I have a pretty good job

 to talk about voices, because I discovered quite a few new things

 about their own experiences.