RCS – Business Default

I’m standing at the station and waiting. No expectations and no excess

 nervousness. I’m not in a hurry. The cigarette smoke drifts and I watch.

 I observe the phenomena of life around me. There goes the old lady,

 his face is blank and sad. I can see he’s having a hard time walking, but still

 rushing towards us. Slowly, there won’t be a bus for at least five more minutes.

 She breathes a sigh of relief as she lowers herself onto the metal bench, her gaze lingering

 dead. Hidden behind my sunglasses, I blink at the young man

 to the couple huddled over there. The young man’s hands can’t

 saturate the body of his chosen one, while whispering words in her ear

 of love. His cute companion looks on boredly

 his shoulder. She is apparently saved from school torture for two months

 and whistles to her for everything else. The old woman looks angrily in their direction

 and we nod disapprovingly. He mutters the usual under his breath

 swear words about youth. A neighbor rushes into our company. she is my age

 we don’t know each other well, sometimes we just say hello in passing,

 this winter we talked for a few minutes. About the weather, anyway.

 This time we nod to each other as a sign of recognition. Now it’s all of us and the green man

 appears at the end of the street. Let’s get on top of it and go towards it

 place. Let’s arrange ourselves according to age and habits, old woman

 occupies the disabled one at the beginning, the neighbor somewhere in between,

 the young couple rushes to the last twin on the right and I right behind on

 bench. I like being here because I’m watching. I observe the phenomena of life

 around me, but I already told you that. Bus soon

 charge, I lose sight of most of my initial companions,

 just two young heads together listening to music in front of me, each one

 to one handset. Passengers stand and huddle against strangers. Before

 Two of my colleagues chat tiredly after a shift. At least ten

 they’re two years younger than me, as if that matters, just

 I tell you. They look two decades older, ring-faced,

 tired eyes. They are leaving the night shift. The former convinces the latter,

 that you really should start watching some TV series,

 the other resists it. The first praises the main character, who is so

 sexy, that just looking at him gives meaning to this life, and barely

 she’s waiting to watch yesterday’s replay. Otherwise, yesterday is the day before

 saw the last part of the job in a hurry, but has to do it again,

 that in the afternoon she would be ready for a new part of the tense saga, and then

 back to work. When the hell do you even sleep, sister? Such debates me

 they tire and make me sad, for a moment I think of withdrawing into

 the world of their music, where angry singers shout slogans about the different

 the world, but my station is already approaching. I can handle those two

 minute, I swing around the pole and land on the sidewalk.

 I have no destination, I’m just walking around.

I know my city well, especially all the hidden corners for

 uninterrupted observation of life. I can easily find a place where

 I will be able to eat and think. About life, anyway. I do not know

 to think about soap operas, weather and gossip. It’s not true, I know.

 When the waves of life carry me into societies where they like to spin you

 light topics, I adapt. I bluff, smile and nod.

 Although I would prefer to just go, I often don’t muster enough strength and

 will. So I stay, a little mad at myself and endlessly desperate

 over the faces of human life. It’s different today because I’m alone

 and I don’t intend to exchange more than ten words with anyone.

 Yes, with a pint in the corner cafe. A short espresso and a glass

 water, thank you, please, bill. In silence among people. In my chest

 a good feeling warms, a heavy carpet is already being laid over it

 sadness. Driving here got me thinking. Some spark of life,

 I won’t say God, because I don’t believe in it, but there is definitely a spark

 ignited that something in each of the observed people. Once somewhere

 two people who are either

 otherwise continued the line. Maybe they couldn’t wait for the new one

 a creature, maybe they were afraid of him or considered him a bad thing

 on top of their problems. Anyway, here they are. They live. She is getting old

 slowly moves towards the end of its thread, there is no more joy

 to feel, mere suffering and surrender to fate. Did she ever laugh?

 She danced with sweaty hands and threw her long hair over her shoulders

 admired her? Who would have known. My neighbor lives alone, I know that.

 Her daily trajectories repeat themselves, as any robot does

 day of similar things. Does he cry in the solitude of his studio apartment in the evening?

 He pours himself glasses of wine or simply stares at the blue screen in despair,

 that brings images of living life? Who knows, almost never

 let’s not talk. And what does life offer female workers? One more

 a routine and an afternoon look at a two-dimensional fool,

 who begs words of love from the script and looks straight at the camera

 tearful right? Is this really it? Otherwise… what is the meaning of all the beauty

 of this life if you end up thinking such miserable thoughts?

 I feel no joy at all and angrily leave the hidden bench. Until

 those canceled coffees, I will drag myself away, where, like everyone else,

 furiously scrolling through the phone in search of something fun, powerful.

 Bold, unusual. Maybe I’ll even cry at

 a snapshot of genuine humanity and missed the moment at the same time

 pure humanity. That’s how we are. Alienated or something.

 I find a table. I’m ordering. I hold off on the phone. I’m waiting

 a moment that would show me that life is worth living. Almost

 I’m already losing hope, the short coffee has gone down my throat and I’m dying

 last cigarette when it happens. They meet each other on a narrow street

 two strangers. They don’t notice each other, which doesn’t even matter. I her

 i see In a second of contact, both on the crosswalk, but for me in the same one

 the visible plane makes something that is the pure essence of life. He

 pushing a baby carriage in front of him, with infinite tenderness

 and he inclines his love towards his offspring and him with the wonderful

 with a smile, something closes. The child turns his head and face

 an expression of pure happiness flies over. It comes to them at this exact moment

 opposite a young lady, walking upright. It has an unusual appearance,

 attractive and acts independent. Just when the young man is becoming a father

 hold for a second and lean over the child, with a light gesture of the hand

 she throws her long black hair out of her eyes and smiles to herself

 she thinks, the sunbeam blinding her almost to the point of blinking. At relaxed

 and the most beautiful smile blooms on her face. And the moment passes. Everything is

 just like before. I pay for the drink and go home. Life goes on

 continue as if nothing had happened.